Worried about your partner, the kids, your neighbours, work, money…… Let’s assume that you know what ‘being transgender is’.Your partner has somehow told you they are transgender.Eventually you will need to decide if you are going to stay in the relationship. Ask yourself honestly “do you want to stay in the relationship? If you think that being transgender is a sin against god and that your partner will soon see the error in their ways, they won’t. It can’t be cured and there isn’t a cure so don’t look for one.Your partner may choose to hide being transgender from you if you give them an ultimatum: I’ll stay if you don’t transition.
For a partner who is Ft M I don’t know if I can really be of help but there are some great blogs out there so keep looking….
A counsellor/ psychologist/ other professional help can talk you through your relationship with or without your partner. (For how to talk to your partner see: https://thetransgenderpartner.wordpress.com/2013/07/03/thinking/ If you can not accept the fact that your partner is transgender then do not stay in the relationship.
It will help clarify your feelings and give you an outlet. If you think your partner will change his/her mind and that it is just “a phase” it isn’t.
If this is the case think about how this will impact on your relationship (mentally and emotionally) long term. If you are very attached to your heterosexual identity and don’t want to be a lesbian then that is okay.
You may or may not have talked about it further but you want to know more. Excellent resources (more eloquently written than I will ever be able to provide) can be found here: together One of the first questions you will ask yourself is: “do I stay or do I leave?
” One starting point is to try to talk to your partner about it and to find a good counsellor to talk to. ” Some people choose to move on completely and that, although it can be very painful, is ok too.