“Think of me as Yoda, only instead of being little and green, I wear suits and I’m awesome. So, this holiday season, why not bang someone in need?
” “There are only two reasons to date a girl you’ve already dated: breast implants.” “See that woman nursing a Black Russian?
After negotiating a fairly barren mid-90s career-wise (a bit-part role as a Gestapo-esque officer in bug-smashing sci-fi Starship Troopers aside), a narcotic-tinged visit to a burger joint with Harold & Kumar rocketed NPH back into the public eye. Since then, he’s been voted one of Time magazine’s 100 Most Influential People, received a star on the Hollywood Walk Of Fame and presented the Tony Awards (where he jigged with Mike Tyson).
And it’s all thanks to womanising, Scotch-drinking, corporate cheerleading Barney Stinson, the one character in hit comedy HIMYM you’ve never wanted to punch square in the mush.
She's about to chase that with a White American.” “Can't talk my way out of a speeding ticket? If I can talk a stripper into paying me for a lap dance, I can talk my way out of a speeding ticket.” “When will you learn that the only difference between my life and porno is my life has better lighting?
” “Trust me when I tell you their universal healthcare system doesn't cover breast implants.
I'm not saying the occasional guy won't still go to the fridge, open you up, take a sniff, shrug and take a sip anyway: but it's all downhill from here.” “I feel like I've done so much good I have a ‘soul boner’.” Quinn (Barney’s soon-to-be stripper girlfriend): “Wow, you have Enormous Penis Syndrome?
Please be warned, there is the occasional, moderately rude reference. And like his favourite catchphrase, most of them are now legen – wait for it… And there’s no greater gift than the gift of booty.
If I have to sit through one more flat-chested Nova Scotian riding a Mountie on the back of a Zamboni, I'll go oot of my mind.” “Girls are like cartons of milk.
Each one has a hotness expiration date and you've hit yours.
If one of my little Michael Phelps’ has got loose, he’s swimming for a Gold.” Jingle Bells “Pulling down her pants, yanking off my own, underneath the mistletoe I’ll make your sister moan, oh…” We Wish You A Merry Christmas “I wish I could see her naked, I wish I could see her naked, I wish I could see her naked and down on all fours.” “That's what corporate America wants: people who seem like bold risk takers, but never actually do anything.” “This, what you’re doing right now?
It’s giving me a de-rection.” “You are in the heart of Bachelor Country. Now, you could try to apply for a sex visa, but that only lasts 12 hours...
14 if you qualify for multiple entry.” “With great penis comes great responsibility.” “If I could nail any celebrity, it would have to be Scarlett Johansson.